Expert Tips On Caring For Older Adults w/Mercedes Fernandez

Yeah. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (04:04) you know, I think this is a very timely topic for us. So what are some of the, give us three things that could prepare us to take care of somebody or assist in the care of someone in a, doesn't have to be a family member, actually. Could be anyone who is close to us, may need care. Mercedes (04:05) Hmm Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (04:31) What are some of the tips you could give to family members who are dealing with that or facing that right now? Mercedes (04:40) Absolutely. I think what I often find or what I've learned along the way and I've had family members close to me and friends and clients who have taken on this journey, I think it's really important for anyone who's going through this to remember that it is in fact a very, it is a, I don't like to say a job like a bad way, but it is taxing and there's a lot of work and while we... The one who is taking care most of the time we are in deeply are caregivers naturally. While we want to help, while we want to be there and support and do the best that we can and extend ourselves, it is something to just be mindful of how much it will take an effect on your life, your body, your daily routines will change. And that's not to scare anyone, but to have the mindfulness that When it does get overwhelming, you're not alone. It feels very isolating sometimes. It can, to feel like no one understands me. And I think oftentimes the second tip is finding a caregiver group in your area or other caregivers that you can kind of have like a coffee chat with or a decompression chat because oftentimes we need to talk to people. We need to just unload. And people who aren't caregivers will understand. And I find that that's also a very challenging part of caring for someone. So giving yourself that support from other caregivers and giving yourself that grace and the space to take care of yourself in the down times or if you can find someone to switch with you for maybe just at least 30 minutes. Those. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (06:20)

J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (07:22) to that while you're caring for that someone to remember to take care of yourself. So am I correct? Mercedes (07:33)

Mercedes (08:49) Yes, exactly. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (08:54) Okay, all right. Okay, so we talk about some, and what are some of the assistance available for someone who is in that position, who needs to take care of an elderly relative? Mercedes (09:15) Mm-hmm. Well, I think that something that I see often is again kind of going back to what I said earlier It's such a it's an over. It can be an overwhelming role where you know, we and I and I speak for myself because I Speak for myself. I You know wanted to do everything. I was in school. I had a job. I was managing my grandfather's all his appointments all his medicine He lived with me and my mother and my father at the time and so J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (09:25) Mm-hmm. Mercedes (09:45) you know, making sure he has his lunch and all of these things. My plate is full. I was wearing way too many hats. Thankfully I was a lot younger at the time so I was able to, but even then it's taxing and it's hard on our body. And so what I didn't know at the time was there are actually a lot of resources depending on where you are in the world and you're in the country, in the county where you live, depending on the health insurance. So there's so many tricky things there, but what I am seeing now, online and social media is that caregiving is really rising. And so many more people are becoming more vocal about their experience. And so what I think, again, goes back to that is it's important to not only have the social support, but look into your area and look into those available resources, because there's actually a lot of resources in your community that are overshadowed. People don't know about them. They're often, and they're often covered. They're free. So there might be an adult daycare. There might be activities for your loved one. And so just do a quick Google search. And I think that can be very helpful.

coverage for caregivers. And I think if I'm not mistaken, that kind of assistance or similar assistance available somewhere like Canada, I can only speak for those three places. So, but I think you're right in that there is some type of, you know, community-based or government-based, if you will, assistance available to help us, yeah. Mercedes (11:57) Mm-hmm. Absolutely, and I think something else that I've seen that I myself had tapped into

Yeah, yeah, makes sense. Okay. All right. So you mentioned, we talked about remembering to take care of ourselves while we're giving care. And that's one of the hard things for mothers to do, especially solo mothers. And, you know, solo mothers are already overwhelmed with taking care of their own children. And to have, I remember I had a guest on and she was taking care of her children. She was taking care of her mom who had dementia. And she was also taking care of her grandmother. And that's a real, yeah, that's a really heavy space to be in. Mercedes (13:17) Wow. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (13:26) remembering your own personal routine can help, I guess, yeah.

Yeah, yeah definitely. All right. So I had one other point that I wanted to ask you to address is so the person who you're taking care of may not be helpless right? They're not helpless and they may be independent minded right? So you're dealing with somebody who Mercedes (14:29) Mm-hmm.

J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (15:06) totally helpless. I mean that's how I'd feel right. I don't know what would I would be if I was you know I couldn't take care of myself. So my mindset is that I'm caring for an elderly relative person. I want to give them a little room to help themselves if they want to. You follow me? So what are some of the tips you can give? Can you address that? Mercedes (15:10) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think in such a it's a remarkable point you make because oftentimes again as a care someone who is a natural caregiver we want to help we want to help and I imagine as a mother it's oh I guess the term smothering right and I'm guilty of that because I just love to care and but it's not it's not always a bad thing right we it's out of a good comes from a good place but what to your point it's important that J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (15:55) Yeah. Hmm.

J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (16:55) Mm-hmm. Mercedes (16:56) we think, you know, we've been conditioned to just kind of say, hey, how are you? How's it going? And we talk about little things here and there, but when you really ask someone who's been around for a lot longer than we have, ask, you know, what was it like when you were in your twenties? You know, what was your favorite activity? Did you play any sports? Like questions that we don't normally ask. And you'll find a lot of wisdom there because then you can incorporate that. So let's say your uncle liked to garden. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (17:07) Mm-hmm. Mercedes (17:23) It doesn't garden anymore because you can't get down on the floor. Okay, well, how about if we have the space we can we can build a little planter box together? You bring that bring a little bit of connection together. You can touch the dirt again Or someone who used to like football, you know bringing them a football and let them touch the football so giving them a little bit of that dignity back and And giving them this space giving them the space to talk about it J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (17:48)

J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (18:58) Yeah. All right. So tell us what you do for your clients and how we can get in touch with you. Mercedes (19:06) Yes, so I am a geriatric kinesiologist or physiotherapist. And so essentially what I do for older adults is I help with mobility. That's my favorite thing in the world to do. As a kinesiologist, it's basically the study of human body movement. But what I focus on specifically is if an older adult, you've noticed your loved one changing in their walk, the way they're walking. Excuse me. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (19:36) I see somebody want to join in. Mercedes (19:37) Sorry about that. I'm apologizing. So she's being vocal now. And she, excuse me. So I help with mobility, but mostly when it comes to someone using a walker or a cane. Oftentimes, you know, we get them from the doctor, the physical therapist, or they're gifted, or we pick them up at CVS. But if you really pay attention to anyone who's using a walker or even seeing someone outside walking, the walkers are almost always not set up correctly. So for anyone listening, I encourage you to just pay attention next time to see if someone's reaching over and really hunching down to grab the handles. That's a good sign that something's a little off. So what I do is I help assess. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (20:24) Bye. Mercedes (20:31) the mobility aid that they're using. I give them tips and instructions on how best to use them. And then when it comes to adult children or anyone really who's caring for an aging loved one or who's going through this transition or a caregiver, I also help with those transitions and give some guidance and expert resources to navigate kind of what we did today. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (20:56) Okay, all right, pretty cool.

Yeah, well, I could see how that could be virtual. Okay. All right. And how can we get in touch with you? Give us your links and connects. Mercedes (21:14)

Um, well, I, I'm not, I'm just my guests, but all my, excuse me, all my episodes are on movement. So those that I have been, I had a former podcast, but right now it's, um, on hiatus. J. ROSEMARIE (JENN) (22:00) Okay. All right, so what is Mercedes grateful for today? Mercedes (22:12) I'm sorry, cut out.