From Panic to Peace: A Single Mom’s Guide to Overcoming Financial Fear

00:00] So today I want to talk about fear. I covered in Day 1 of our Courage to Believe devotional, but I wanted to cover fear from the perspective of escaping survival mode, trusting God’s ongoing provision—and this is for solo moms, right?

[01:00] And before I get to the micro-suggestions and solutions, I want to deal with the macro of this fear. Because financial burden, financial uncertainty, often drives us to breed fear in our lives, right? There's a financial pressure that always seems to breed fear.

[02:00] So, I want to highlight that. I'm not talking about this in the abstract. This isn't theory for me; this is a life I’ve lived. I've lived in a lot of fear. When my husband walked out on me and our two and four-year-old, I was in a panic. I was... you know, it was just horrible because life suddenly shifted.

[03:00] Especially when you look at those lovely children in front of you needing your guidance, needing your leadership, needing you to provide and take care of them. You can relate, right? So, I want to share one story that will help you understand that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to fear and when it comes to trusting God. Because this might sound like hyperbole or trying to just tell you, "Oh, you know, people say go pray about it." This is not "go pray about it." This is lived experience.

[04:00] Because people didn't want to—if they had the money to spend, they didn't want to spend it because nobody knew what was coming. And if you know anything about the financial crisis, you lived through it? It was a financial tsunami of epic proportions. And a lot of companies went under, a lot of people lost their jobs, a lot of things happened. But right in the middle of that, I packed up everything except what could hold in my 2001 Toyota Camry.

[05:00] I had tried to solve the solution—to bring a solution to the problem myself out of fear. I wanted to go to Florida because it was hot and the kids would be safe there and all this stuff. And I ended up obeying the voice of God and driving all that way to accept this two-week job. And the night before I drove off, I didn't even know where I was going to live. I've never lived in New York; I visited it, but I’ve never lived there.

[06:00] Here I was driving to New York City and giving away all my stuff—years of stuff I had accumulated. And so I wanted you to just get a feel for this experience that I’ve lived. And I drove... the journey from Atlanta to Queens should have taken me about 12 hours. It took me 22 hours driving from 6:30 AM Sunday morning to, I believe it was 3:30 AM Monday morning.

[07:00] Driving... if anyone—if you've ever driven in a big city, especially a city like New York City, I got lost on those highways. You know, the BQE... because I was driving, I didn't know where I was going, I was just driving. And thankfully, I had gotten a room to rent the night before, and my new landlord, he called me and stayed on the phone with me and made sure that I got to his place.

[08:00] I couldn't live in fear anymore. And yeah, I was a bit scared, but I also trusted God, right? So I wanted you to understand that God cares about you. He sees you, He knows what you're going to through, and He's waiting for you to trust Him. It's not only about asking God for things; He's waiting for you to trust Him, to turn over—turn it all over to Him.

[09:00] And so I knew that God would help me, and I trusted Him to, and He did. Because that job that I drove to New York City for, actually started out as three days. So it was a three-day job at first, then they extended it to two weeks. I went back to Atlanta with free tickets—I didn't pay for any of those tickets, and I talk about that in other parts of my podcast.

[10:00] He stays with you. He stayed with me, right? He protected me, He kept... my kids were—we were all new to New York City. My bus ride, train ride to work was two hours or more because I lived in Queens, in middle Queens, and I had to go to work on Wall Street. And I had to leave them alone in the house on their own. And I was scared to death. I was scared at work, and it was—it was intense. But God...

[11:00] And that probably should give me a sad face, right? But it didn't. Because that 17 months earned me a severance package, it earned me unemployment insurance. I was out of work for three months, and during that time, I didn't want for nothing. My landlord didn't even know I wasn't working because I had everything I needed. All from obeying God to move 900 miles for a two-week job.

[12:00] But it's always, always, always better if we read it for ourselves. And that's why I always, always want to read it. And that way you know what it says for yourself. And even with me reading it, I encourage you to go read it. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and I will help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." That's Isaiah 41:10.

[13:00] But it's like... I don't know what this feels like, but it's—just if you’ve ever had—if your father was a good father, a provider, a loving, caring father and a protector, then you know what I'm talking about. That's God, right? So the fear—the fear we have sometimes, even when we're in the middle of things going okay, sometimes we can be fearful as well, right?

[14:00] And I'm like, "Truth about what?" And he said, "Were you really laid off?" And I said, "Yeah, why would I lie about something like that?" And he said, "Because you're laughing and joking." And the reason I was able to laugh and joke about being let—not about being let go, but even in the middle of being let go—was because I had already trained my mind: If God brought me all the way here, and a three-day job turned into a 17-month job with salary and benefits, why am I worried?

[15:00] About three months later—because I guess He thought I needed a break, and that was the three months' break—three months later, I got an email from an ex-manager at the same firm. "This person is hiring, send your resume if you're still looking for work." And the rest is history. I went into the interview, got the job, a couple of months later I got a permanent position, beat out somebody with an MBA who thought she was smarter than I was. And I was at that job for—I was at that same company as the three-day job, the same company, almost 14 years.

[16:00] Remember that. This isn't a man who always lies and tells stories and can't back up what he promises. This is God. And I'm encouraging you to trust Him, open your hearts and trust Him. If you've never been to church, don't worry about it, just trust God. If you've been to church and you've backslid, don't worry about it, just trust God.

[17:00] There is one more thing that I forgot to mention. One of the ways fear drives is by forcing us to make decisions that we often regret. For me, it was my two youngest ones—they were young, I was struggling, and someone wanted to marry me. And I said yes, not because I thought it was the best thing, but because I thought it was the best thing for my children.

[18:00] Right? And write those answers down. Then the other thing I would like to say is that because you have those questions and you've now pigeon-holed the answer—what it is you're fearful of—so if you think it's because you don't have enough money to move forward, pay your bills, what can you do to help yourself in that situation?

[19:00] And, you know, some churches have food pantries. There's, you know, the one thing I always encourage you—because your mindset is very important during this time—is if you would... um, if you feel like you need somebody to talk to, do several things. Don't do just one thing; do what works for you. Your job, if they have benefits, may have what's called an Employee Assistance Program, and they usually have like five or six free sessions where you can see a therapist.

[20:00] I also encourage you to find a mentor. I'm a mentor, I've lived through it and I can talk you through it. I'm also a coach. I can help you build a plan, a framework for where you want to move forward, right? And my coaching is Christ-centered. I don't do anything on my own because I can't; I can't help you. But God can. And I consider myself doing what God has empowered me to do, and that is helping solo moms work through their situation, going from the survival mode to a life of transformation.

[21:00] That may be something for you, so that's a resource I want to put in the link below. The other thing I would recommend is that same notebook, go through and see what you would like to be doing. I remember when I was working full-time—not this last job but before—I used to daydream about what I wanted to do, and then I would write a business plan. And one of the things I wanted to do was open a daycare, and I have pages and pages on a yellow legal pad of how that was going to work.

[22:00] And, and so that's one way you could do it. Of course, you have to make sure that you follow the rules and regulations and, hopefully, it's not too prohibitive for you to do that. There are some countries where daycare is pittance, you know, I think in Quebec it's like $10 a month or something. You know, that's—that's just amazing. But you can find ways to help to earn extra income.

[23:00] And I suggested to her that she go to Canva—Canva is free to use—and create some to-do lists, some—some worksheets, some guidebooks, like guide sheets, and help women. Show them how to apply their makeup—I sometimes wear makeup, I have no clue what I'm doing, I just put it on and hope it works—and how to fix their hair, what to use in their hair. Do those things, and, and put them on Etsy or Facebook or whatever group you're into. There are a lot of link-in-bio apps, like Linktree is one of them, where you could just create a link to your social media, you could post your stuff on social media or about your stuff on social media.

[24:00] So figure out what you love to do or what you'd love to do. Um, maybe you can knit or crochet, maybe you can paint or draw or take photographs. All these things are being sold online, you know? And maybe you could start a YouTube channel about your cat or, you know, I don't—I don't believe in putting my kids online, but some people do that. Um, but there are all kinds of things you could do and talk about. Maybe you could start a YouTube channel about what you know and want to teach to people. And your phone—you don't have to pay any money. That's the beauty of YouTube.

[25:00] So, I don't—I've been talking long enough, but I wanted to give you an idea of things you could do to help you move forward once you determine what it is you're afraid of, and what you decide what you can do about it if, you know, if you need the money, and what your skills are and how you can market those skills. I appreciate you listening and watching. And I really appreciate you because you're doing an amazing job, but you don't have to do it alone, that's the thing. So if you need a community, um, you know, follow me. I'm always trying to get on and talk to people and, and answer your questions.

[26:00] And I had to do that because I didn't think I could write a book about God without showing how merciful He has been to me. Thank you. So, so grab a copy, is what I was about to say. Grab a copy. Um, it's on Amazon as a free—as an e-book, you can download the free Kindle app and the purchase price is about $6.99, $3.99, $6.99 depending on where you are and whether they're running a promotion on it.