Worrier to Warrior: How Solo Moms Can Navigate Life's Challenges w/ Martin Salama
Picture yourself confronting your deepest fears - financial insecurity, divorce - and through a profound shift in mindset, not only overcoming them but ushering in a period of abundance and self-awareness.
That's the inspiring journey our guest Martin Salama, the architect of the Warriors L.I.F.E. Code, shares with us today. His resilience is a testament to the potency of emotional strength, a vital characteristic that Martin believes everyone can cultivate.
You will be intrigued as he breaks down his personal transformation, providing a four-step guide towards fostering emotional resilience and harnessing it in the face of adversity.
But we don't stop there. We delve into the transformative power of a gratitude practice, a practice that nurtures more harmonious relationships and fuels personal growth.
Martin shares an intimate glimpse into his own habit and the remarkable impact it’s had on his relationships.
For solo moms out there, Martin offers a golden nugget of advice: never take things personally. His insights remind us that people's reactions usually mirror their own inner world more than they reflect on you.
To aid your journey towards emotional fortitude, Martin has a free worksheet carefully designed to facilitate the process.
So tune in, as Martin's enlightening experiences and life wisdom offer hope and guidance to all solo moms amid life's challenges.
Connect with Martin: YouTube | LinkedIn | Website | Connect
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Mentioned in this episode:
Don't Parent in Silence
Hello Solo Moms. As a solo mom of three adult sons, I understand the challenges you face on a daily basis. As a mentor, my mission is to help you shift your mindset and empower you to take control of your life, to see yourself as God sees you. I know that unresolved trauma can be a heavy burden to carry and parenting alone can be a lonely journey, but it doesn't have to be that way. I want you to know that you are not alone. You have the strength and resilience to overcome your challenges and create the life you desire. Speaker 1: 0:41 I want to help you to make the effort to tackle unresolved trauma and change your perspective so you can live the life you deserve. I offer complimentary consultation where we can discuss how to move forward, create a plan to help you heal and empower you. You can schedule a consultation by emailing me at jen@jrosemarie.com or by calling + 1-917-994-1329 (WhatsApp), or schedule a consultation with the link below. I am here for you and I want to help you take the first step toward healing and empowerment. Don't let unresolved trauma hold you back any longer. Don't parent in silence. Take action today and let's work together to empower you to live the life you desire. Thank you.
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Transcript
Martin Salama Guest 02:52 So I am Martin Salama. I come from Brooklyn, New York. That's where I spent most of my life. J. Rosemarie (Jenn)Host
02:59 Hey, Brooklyn, yeah, I'm in Brooklyn, so. Martin Salama Guest
about because of the crash in:Martin Salama Guest 03:53 Which would happen to be my luck if it was 2006 or 2007,. When you were walking into the bank those days, it was kind of like you were going to Costco. On every corner there'd be somebody handing you free stuff. J. Rosemarie (Jenn) Host 04:04 Yeah. Martin SalamaGuest
You know well, it stopped in:J. Rosemarie (Jenn) Host 04:47 Thank you. Thank you for sharing, and I'm familiar with that because I was in real estate during that time and moved to Wall Street after that, so I'm familiar with it. Martin Salama Guest 04:58
it. J. Rosemarie (Jenn) Host:Sure. So, as a life coach, you know there's many of us out there and many great life coaches out there, but for me, I feel like it's my job to help someone shift their mindset from lack to abundance, or lack or scarcity to abundance and greatness and, on a deeper level, from self-conscious to self-aware. Everybody thinks they're self-aware. They start talking to me and I explained to them the difference between self-conscious and self-aware. Well, I guess I've been self-conscious. 05:48 So building yourself, building your emotional strength, kind of comes from that whole mindset. But also, for me, the reason I even started practicing this and developing it was because when I decided to become a life coach, right before that happened, it took me about a year or so to get out of the depression of losing all that and figuring out what I was going to do next. I decided I was going to become a life coach and about two or three months before that I was going to start coach training. My wife asked for a divorce on our 24th wedding anniversary. Wow, and I'm like gee, and I didn't get you anything like that for our anniversary.
J. Rosemarie (Jenn)
Host
No. Martin Salama Guest:11:26
The next one is find out why. Ask yourself questions, being like you're a prosecutor and you're also the witness on the witness stand. Cross-examine yourself. Why am I feeling this? Did somebody do me wrong? How did I affect it? Am I taking it personally? Is it helping me? Is it hurting me? And go through the whole thing. And then the last one E is engage and change and take action. So that doesn't necessarily mean you take action right then and there. So how about if I give you a practical example?
12:05
Okay sure, so it makes it a little easier. Yeah, so a couple of years after my divorce my son was getting married. By now I was back in Brooklyn and my ex-wife was living in New Jersey. Okay, and we have a custom. I come from an Orthodox, modern Orthodox Jewish community so we observe the Sabbath, don't drive on Saturday and stuff like that. So there's a custom sometimes in our community to make a lunch the Saturday before the wedding and the boy goes to the Torah, goes to the synagogue and goes up to the Torah and there's some nice things. But it's not something that everybody does and so I don't know. We were both not in a great place financially, so I just didn't think it was happening. And to know anything, I didn't hear anything. So that weekend my son went to New Jersey to be by his mom, because sometimes he was in college. At the time he was finishing college, which was in New York, so he spent a lot of time with me. So he was out of New Jersey, which was fine by me. He comes back and he says "'Dad, I am so embarrassed. "'mom made the lunch on Saturday, invited my in-laws, "'there were people there and you weren't there'".
13:16
Now, the old me would have picked up the phone and ripped the new one into my ex-wife. How dare you? Who do you think you are? Blah, blah, blah. Now, what would have I accomplished at that moment, two days before the wedding? I would have accomplished turmoil throughout the families, both families her family, my family, my future daughter-in-law's family and everybody would have said oh, there's Martin again losing it and not caring about anybody else but himself. So I thought about it. Now, this is the new me, this is Martin 2.0, as I call myself. So I said Caesar, that's my son's name, it's not you. Thank you for telling me it's okay.
14:03
So now I'm saying to myself I'm feeling angry. What kind of angry. I'm enraged. Find out why. Why am I feeling this way? Well, my ex-wife disrespected me, she didn't think of me, she left me out of the picture and my children are now looking at this. All those emotions are coming in. I'm writing it down, I'm fervently writing it down. And then comes the E engage and change and take action. So for me, the new me is okay.
14:32
When is the best time to do this? The wedding this is Monday. The wedding is Wednesday. I think I'll wait till Friday. Is anything gonna happen different by my telling her on Friday no, I'm still, but I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing. So I said I'm gonna put it out of my head, I'm gonna focus on the wedding, I'm gonna focus on the happiness of my child, all right, and nobody was the wiser. I went to somebody close to me and I also spoke to a coach of mine and I told him how I was feeling and what I was thinking about doing, and I even talked about what I would say. So then we went to the wedding beautiful wedding, everybody was happy.
15:18 Friday I called my ex-wife and I said to her listen, you did this. You have your own reasons why you did it, but let me tell you I'm not happy about it. I had a controlled anger. This is the message you sent to our children. This is the message you sent to the new in-laws. You know everything. And I ended the conversation by telling her thank you for divorcing me. For me, that was a closure. That was a closure moment. J. Rosemarie (Jenn)
Host:
